You’re minding your own business as an aimless teen and an adult rudely asks “so what are you going to do when you grow up?”

You panic, "damn what will satisfy this person?" You think as you get that battery acid feeling on your tongue. Something they would understand, something that would seem aspirational yet not seem out of place they saw me putting in zero effort. Something that would assure wealth and success in life, something just on the edge of their understanding so they can’t question me.

“I’m going to be Miyazaki” you say, they reply with “oh nice, I used to draw cartoons”, and the conversation is over.

But it's not over, you say it over and over again. It becomes your identity, your passion, your future, your wealth.

Your art, this innocent little thing, born on school notebooks inspired by a game here, a comic there. Is suddenly burdened with providing you with wealth, social success, a way for you to be your true authentic self, and to be accepted and even cherished by the world.

I say be nice to your art, its a part of you, if you must burden it, give it one burden, let it solve one of your human needs instead of all of them.

And what have you done for your art lately? Does it have the instruments and materials that it needs? Is it overwhelmed with an inhuman number of options? Each human need I have, was infinitely easier to solve individually then in one fell swoop by being famous.

My current goals are:
• Be authentic
• Feel seen
• Feel appreciated
• Not one day, but everyday.

And I'm aiming to apply that to all my efforts. And not getting sucked into scenarios where the phrase "If I get good enough I'll be accepted" enters my head.

I always thought script writing was for people who couldn't draw. And that most script writers were hacks that were saved by the real (visual) artists.

So I was making stories by creating pictures first. And the issue was that I was unable to pivot based on my whims, even three drawings in, huge amounts of half baked decisions have been grandfathered in that I have to carry around, until I collapse under the weight of them. I went so far as to look into trying to learn touch designer so I could trigger images with rubber pads.

And of course the real solution was script writing. But the way I do it is modular for example:
key visual (actual art) image descrption: A cow on a field voice description: "moo"
This method allows me to change the items being slammed together extremely quickly, and Im able to feel the reaction they cause with minimal effort.